Can Obama do a more responsible job of spending rich people’s money?

Why I want you to Vote Obama.

By Benjamin Gaul

“Make the lie big, make it simple, keep saying it, and eventually they will believe it.” Adolf Hitler

Don’t tell anyone, but the crux of the matter is that I’m lazy, and really very tired. I want to feel good about myself (while letting others know how good I am) without actually having work at it. Or even work, really. When self-esteem is your highest goal, it’s so much easier to just tell other people what they’re doing wrong, than it is to have to create anything, yourself.

There is a decided rush in telling other people how they should live, what they should eat and what they should think. It really makes you feel Superior. Attaching a “cause” to your demands like “It’s for the poor, the children, the Environment, the People…” or anything along those lines, takes away any responsibility if the idea might fail, too. So really, the only hope for a world I can live in successfully, is Obamaville.

I want to vote Obama because I believe in the Government. It can do a more responsible job of spending rich people’s money, than greedy rich people ever could. More importantly, if you’re like me and somewhat allergic to “work” (there’s a four letter word, if ever) an Obama government will supply all the basic needs free, anyway: Food, Rent, Health-care, Cell phone, Cable, Education, Internet access, Video game platform, Flat-screen, Contraception, Abortion (accidents happen), Protection, a Social Worker and a sense of self importance. Why would I want to WORK, again?

I can contribute to society by being an Artist, or something. Who cares if my art sells or not? What I do should not be about commercial value or earning a living, or (ug!) making a profit. MY art is about expressing my inner self: Urine soaked, scat smeared symbols of oppressive religions who only want to force their views and morality down my throat. THEY all need to shut up and mind their own business! There aught to be a law making them come to my Government Funded art showings. Hypocrites.

“How fortunate for governments that the people they administer don’t think.” Adolf Hitler

If Conservatives get their way and elect dumb ol’ Romney, we’ll fall back into that old, backwards, completely debunked way of doing things: Capitalism. And that scares me. Free Markets are SO not about Economic Fairness or Social Justice. No individual person or corporation should be able to out-compete any other person or corporation. Because if their slice of the pie gets bigger, somebody else’s slice HAS to be getting smaller. Everyone knows that the pie is only so big. Right? Wealth is never Created, so much as stolen from the rightful owners (the poor). It can only be distributed fairly, to everyone, by benevolent Obama appointed bureaucrats.

Just because some person gets lucky, studies hard, applies themselves, takes risks, builds a business, creates (steals) wealth and invests it (in the Risky Stock Market), does NOT mean that person is qualified to manage all that money effectively for the Good of The People! Everyone knows that only greedy, selfish, basically Evil people are rich. Unless they get into politics on the Democrat ticket. That automatically absolves them of any taint or possible misdoings. Democrats tend to lean towards Socialism, which is all about taking from the greedy rich and redistributing it to the deserving poor (who it really belongs to, in the first place).

Now, before all you loud-mouthed stupid hateful racist Tea Party types go ranting about how “Socialism has failed every time it’s been tried” –in your whiny little voices out from behind your KKK pointy hoods– let me make a point: It was the meddling of International Bankers, bent on maintaining their Zionist Monopoly on the Means of Production, who have historically ruined it.

Besides, those other attempts never had a Leader as massively intelligent or articulate as we have guiding us today. There is more IQ, Energy and plain old Youthful Enthusiasm at 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue than there has ever been, in the history of the world. Every problem is met with a Brain Trust of living supercomputers, who solve them before America even has to know they arose.

Central Planning that is swift and sure and as deadly accurate as the day is long. If the Evil Corporations would only get out of the way and let our Most Ethical Congress Ever go about handling things in their unparalleled style & efficiency.

Peace on Earth should be a pointed enough indicator to you Fear Mongering Tea Party types, that we now have a Dear Leader worthy of a Lifetime Appointment. Every promise Obama made, has been kept: The wars are over, the gulags are closed, the world at large loves and respects us once again, the economy is blazing, and unemployment benefits have been extended once again for the 2% of the population who might still be unemployed. I don’t have to worry about my mortgage or my car payment. The Oceans are no longer rising.

Or at least, all of that WOULD be true, if you Conservatives would stop getting in the way.

“All within the state, nothing outside the state, nothing against the state.” Mussolini – Fascist Dictator, ally to NAZI (National Socialist) Germany.

Everyone’s lives will improve greatly when the Government has more control over the means of production. Private businesses and Corporations might build better products for lower prices, but it’s only so they can beat out their competitors and earn Bigger Profits!

Private industry doesn’t care about all the people they hire and pay salaries to. They’re just about greed and fat-cats and growing their businesses bigger so they can hire more people and make larger profits. And if the Government asks them to pay more of their fair share, they pull up stakes and take their jobs over seas. (Or, you know, move their businesses to States with lower taxes and friendlier business climates.)

With Obama’s second term, the government will own all the businesses. No more of this “doing what you please” for those fat-cats! They’ll have to pay every worker a Living Wage, even if it meant hiring far fewer workers. Fair is Fair! They’d also have to hire equal numbers of every demographic and protected Social Class, too. Even if none of a particular demographic or social class applied for a job, that’s no excuse. Fines will be levied.

Under Obama, Central Planning will ensure that Economic Justice is the Law of the Land, and no person will have any advantage over any other. Pay will be based on need, instead of outmoded concepts like Productivity or Accomplishment.

And guys like Me, who really don’t feel much like “working”, will get a Living Wage, too! Just because I feel I’m a better Artist than I am a Carpenter or a Plumber, doesn’t mean I’m any less valuable as a Person. And if Obama needs more money to bring my income up to theirs, just tax the Carpenters and Plumbers a little more. They need to spread the wealth around, so Economic Fairness can be achieved.

On a personal side note, speaking strictly as a devout Pacifist, I will also feel a hell of a lot safer when all you “Nut-job Fringe Militia 2nd Amendment, God-is-on-my-side” types can no longer cling to your Guns & Bibles, because they have all been taken away. You racist bastards are WAY scarier than some towel-head sand-monkey sitting in a cave, half-way ’round the world.

Obama will also get us off this stupid, environmentally destructive dependence on Fossil fuels, by creating Green Collar jobs. Big Oil Corporations don’t care about people. They don’t care that they are destroying the Ozone Layer and causing Global Warming. So we need Obama to take them over too. Or at least, tax them out of existance.

So there you have it: An iron clad, fact filled, perfectly reasonable explanation about why I want everyone to vote Obama.

Anyone who DOESN’T vote for Obama, is a Racist Misogynist Homophobic Jingoistic Conquer-Monkey Fear-Mongering Hater of the Environment and the Poor, who probably Beats their Children.

Because I said so.

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