Intimate Relationships – Duality verses Unity Consciousness


We have grown up in a society that has programmed us to view each other as ‘separate’ beings. It sure seems as though we are. I mean, our bodies are not physically joined – per say – though everything about science, down to the molecular level, suggests there is no difference between the space around us and our physical vehicles. Something has gone askew. When we look at the numbers, in terms of divorce rates and abuse, the way we have been approaching relationship has not been working. There must be another way. What is the difference in an intimate relationship approached with the perspective of ‘unity’ consciousness verses the traditional ‘duality’ of ‘us’ and ‘them?’

Looking Back

Historically, in the tribal view, individuals were not recognized as such, there was no ‘you’ and ‘me’, but rather a collective vision of the communal ‘us.’ All happenings were done to benefit the whole of the community and no one ventured off to complete a ‘self-ish’ mission, except with the thought of the greater good of the tribe in mind. Why have we strayed from this? In this same tribal village, children belonged to everyone and there was no sense of possession. And yet, humans moved forward, ‘evolving’, as it were, to the place we have landed ourselves today.

Looking at this picture from a greater vantage point, perhaps these two views are not two steps in one cycle of evolution, but rather two different paths that intersected, one affecting the harmony of the other by inflicting its personal ideas. Could it be that the western world and the idea of the ‘individual self’, has somehow suppressed the idea of ‘unity’ from the collective experience to such a degree that we are finally gasping for air in attempts to locate truth already existing elsewhere in the world?

As indigenous tribes are largely being threatened on this planet with ‘advancements’ in western technology, perhaps we are threatening to lose something of far greater value than we realize.

Scientific Examination

In the realm of quantum science, down at the molecular level, time does not exist, all things are possible and molecules that dance together at one point, even when ‘not together’, continue to influence one another even when seemingly absent. At the quantum level, all is connected, interrelated and affected by the observer.

If we look at relationship through the eyes of the quantum realm, we realize that how we choose to observe what appears to be ‘relationship with another’ largely affects the outcome of our experiences. When we take it even deeper, and begin to see ourselves as connected, interrelated parts of the same whole, and that the ‘other’ does nothing really ‘independent’ of us, but rather – mirrors our inner workings – only then can we imagine how unity consciousness might play out in perceived partnership.

Where it all Begins

From the moment our mother and father conceive us, and knowledge of ‘our impending life’ is revealed, the idea of separation begins. As we grow, and word spreads of the life-form which is developing within the incubation womb of the ‘mother’, doctors, midwives, friends, family members and strangers alike all confirm this impending separation paradigm. Surely, this being will be yet ‘another’ person – walking around in human skin – with their own thoughts, ideas and perceptions…and to an extent, this is true.

What if, instead, from the moment of conception, the idea was developed that an extension of the mother and father, the community and all of manifest life – was growing, preparing to be birthed? What if all who came in contact with the ‘pregnant’ mother, confirmed that intelligent life was enlarging its realm of expression through this being? How would life for this ‘individual’ and every being be different?

If at birth, the mother, the father and the community could clearly see that this child was an extension of them (a unique and beautiful aspect of the Self) and the mother could observe the unfolding life-form within her as such – the experience of life for the mother, the infant and everyone would be very different. The mother would see the infant behaving a certain way and would understand her environment to be speaking to her of her own inner workings. The community would see the infant behaving in a certain way and would understand their environment to be speaking of their own inner workings. In this way, the actions and behavior of the child would forever be a blessing to the mother in her personal expansion and would forever be a blessing to all who beheld the child – in their personal expansion.

As soon as the child was old enough to learn this, they would perceive and be taught that they are the One being in existence and to know life to be their inner environment expressing. With this knowledge, a child would begin to navigate their inner realm at a much younger age, adverting much of the complication of doing so at an ‘older’ or later time.

Intimate Relationships in a ‘Unity’ Perspective

Since most all of us have not grown up with the above definition of life gifted to us, and instead have been raised as separate individuals, how can we begin to live from the idea of ‘unity’ now?

If we can alter our perspective, little by little, to see ‘others’ as extensions of ourselves, how would that change our relationships? Would we continue in the vein of blame, guilt-giving and shame making? Would we run from others who we ‘didn’t like’ and look endlessly for that ‘perfect’ one, only to find that they too are not ‘it?’ By beginning to view the ‘other’ as a part of the self, a piece of the communal One – we can start to allow that which needs healing within ourselves to happen.

So much of us have suppressed emotional grief, hurt, pain, sadness, anger and rejection issues from childhood. Why is this? Could it be perhaps from entering the world knowing ‘unity’, but then being trained to accept separation – something unnatural to our core essence?

In light of connectivity, even if you can’t really buy into or wrap your head around unity consciousness fully, just to approach another as a potential mirror of the self is a huge step. When we do this, we cannot blame the ‘other’ for what is being triggered in ourselves, instead, we must learn to accept and thank them for helping bring to light something of value that needs looking at. We all know if we are okay with ourselves in certain areas, that another person speaking ‘negatively’ or questionably about those things does little, if anything to affect us. It is only when they have touched on something, something we need to heal, look at or accept about ourselves, that we are aroused in anger or emotion over it.

These ideas of ‘unity’ consciousness are potentiators for personal empowerment and global healing. To begin to see through the eyes of connectivity, rather than duality, has the potential to change everything in our relationships, not just with intimate partners, but with everyone.

Unity in a Global Setting

When the ‘other’ can be observed as the self, in another expression, it does not stop with intimate relationships, but goes on to encompass everyone, and must if we are to truly understand unity. Communities and countries could begin to see those around them, even those who once were considered ‘enemies’ as parts of the self which needed care and healing rather than enforced destruction. When something out of alignment with ‘good’ and ‘wholeness’ is occurring, the question can be raised – “where is this quality in myself so that I may heal it?”

This idea is not new, and has been used in a clinical setting in order to affect change of a large number of individuals. The true story is of “a psyche ward being over-taken by the insane. Doctors could not be kept there and it seemed hopeless. Finally, a psychologist was called into help out. Rather than meeting with the patients, or helping them directly, he began to sit with each of their files in a room alone – studying them. With each patient’s information he took the opportunity to look within for where this same issue might be existing. He would contemplate their interconnectedness and embrace the aspect of the Self that each patient represented. As he did this, one by one the patients began to be released. The hospital greatly calmed, and to this day it is closed due to having no more patients.

This is not fiction, this is truth. These results can be replicated for each individual in personal life and on a global scale for healing. There is no law we can enforce upon another that we are unwilling to align with personally. This wisdom of changing the inner self in order to affect change in the world does not work for ‘evil’ purposes because ultimately, one does not want to harm the self.

Bringing it back to intimacy

Healthy intimate relationships are the most sought after experience of likely every person on the planet. Why is this? We all crave acceptance, love, embrace and acknowledgment, though we must first find those things within ourselves. If we cannot love ourselves, we will struggle to find someone else who truly does – because our environment will reflect what we put out. Many have called this metaphysical mumbo jumbo, but science is now showing this is true.

In order to find the love and acceptance we truly desire at the core of our beings, we must move away from the idea of duality- ‘us’ and ‘them’- and start to see a world and interact with the world from a consciousness rooted in unity – or connectedness. There is no other evidence that can be shown greater than that which is seen personally upon trying this philosophy out. The next time you perceive someone as being jealous, hateful, mean, angry – ask yourself “Where am I jealous inside?” “Where am I feeling hateful?” “To whom have I been mean?” “Am I angry?” – – sometimes, these qualities are discovered in a very small place within, but that is enough. By flooding the self with love and acceptance for those places which have experienced duality – a miraculous thing happens – when you change the self – the environment changes. It’s that simple. Try it.


Written by: Stasia Bliss

Source: Up-coming book “Redefining Relationships”; Theory of Quantum Mechanics

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