Why Was Foam Finger Not Enough to Point Miley Cyrus in Different Direction?

Why Was Foam Finger Not Enough to Point Miley Cyrus in Different Direction
One might believe the foam finger performance at the recent Video Music Awards and its negative aftermath may have pointed Miley Cyrus in a different direction, perhaps a less naked career trajectory. Instead, Miss Cyrus, decides a rubber bathing suit is too much clothing and appears this week completely sans clothing atop a wrecking ball.

In her defense, she offers that the video shoot was emotional for her. “I look more broken than even the song sounds,” suffices as her explanation. She’s appears broken, except for the nakedness that is. Broken or not, this little one is certainly milking her fifteen minutes, is she not?

And now, Lionel Richie, bastion of Hollywood patriarchy, is offering advice to Miley’s papa, a former country crooner who no doubt is embarrassed up to the tip of his ten- gallon hat. Wasn’t Lionel Richie’s daughter best friend to Paris Hilton? Didn’t she appear, as a spoiled self-absorbed wealthy brat making fun of “regular folk” along with her heiress friend on a television show? Not to mention the heroin thing.

Parents of regular children everywhere are left scratching their heads. You know the kind of parents that ground their children for silly things like appearing naked in public, rubbing their backsides on married men sixteen years their senior and using a foam finger for anything but cheering on the home team. Okay, perhaps she’s too old for grounding; but perhaps a talk about the family image is in order, non?

Ms. Cyrus is puzzled by the attention. In response to being named the Official Queen of Twerk she says, “I don’t know how that necessarily happened. For me, it’s just like anything I do becomes such a big deal. For me, I’m just having fun.” Put your tongue back in your mouth dear. The lady doth protest too much.

All blame cannot lie with the poor child. Alas, she’s just trying to let the artiste in her pour forth. In its first 24 hours of availability on VEVO, 19.3 million viewers glimpsed the video “Wrecking Ball” featuring Miley’s nakedness riding on a, you guessed it, wrecking ball, chain firmly lodged in her girly bits. Those figures best the recent “We Can’t Stop” “a video in which a gentlemen eats a dollar sandwich and smoke blows from a random penis along with far too much butt spanking (is there an appropriate amount?) and freakish dancing bears… And then there are the taxidermy animals. Run Liam Hemsworth run!… Don’t worry, if Liam doesn’t have the good sense to get out, his mother does. Mothers are all powerful. This engagement is so over… It’s been shaky all summer. Ain’t no way Hunger Games boy is going to marry that.”

Poor girl, they say, is only trying to flex her big girl muscle; to show the world she is no longer Hannah Montana. Unfortunately, it’s best summed up by Robin Thicke’s mother, after she witnessed Ms. Cyrus gyrating against her son’s junk on national television.

It has been reported that his mother, said “I was not expecting her to be putting her butt that close to my son. The problem is now I can never un-see it.”

That, my dear, is the problem for all of us.

Written By: Linda Torkelson

One Response to "Why Was Foam Finger Not Enough to Point Miley Cyrus in Different Direction?"

  1. Melanie (@melaniediazka)   September 11, 2013 at 11:31 pm

    Egomaniac designer Marc Jacobs supports Miley. His best friend Terry Richardson directed her latest nude video clip. Jacobs is a manipulator who wants to control everyone. He cruelly tortures a talented young girl called Angel Barta. Read the details with evidences on: styleangelique blogspot


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