Santa Claus and Company Issued Canadian Passports

santa claus, canadian

Santa Claus is an icon around the world and perhaps one of the longest folk tales still going, at least knowingly. In today’s age, there is definitely no shortage of tightened and heightened border security. Unfortnately if Santa played by the rules that the rest of world did, he would certainly have issues surrounding border clearance thus not being able to making children happy — his one sole purpose – so in light of this problem that has been troubling our borders for decades –  the Canadian government has officially issued Santa Claus and company a passport.

Friday at an event held in Vaughan, Ontario, Immigrations minister Chris Alexander presented two passports in the name(s) of “Santa Claus” and “Mrs. Claus.” The event was not solely based around the two beloved Christmas heroes, it was instead a way to showcase the new and improved – extra secure – ePassports. At the event Alexander mentioned that the coveted North Pole was part of Canada, therefore Santa and his wife are citizens – along with their helpers. He continued saying how Santa and his wife are no strangers to excursions around the globe and were “thrilled” to receive their new ePassports “which are among the world’s most accepted and secure travel documents”

However an issue remains; Canada has yet to lay claim to the North Pole.  A bit preemptive to issue Santa Claus and company a passport. If Russia wins the “bid” for that section of the Arctic will Santa have duel citizenship? This all comes in good timing after the Harper government is in the midst of drafting up a bid to win the rights to polar sea-floor assets. Believed that the Arctic regions hold in captive a quarter of the worlds energy resources.

Though said in jest; a secondary issue is presented – perhaps the most important –  these ePassports are not and have never been secure. These so called “extra secure” ePassports were exploited before the Canadian Government even issued them. The RFID tag inside the ePassport were exploited back in 2008 by a guy named Van Beek. Van Beek figured out how to clone one in under an hour and supposedly went on to figure out how to make completely fake ones. Many citizens are saying that it was exploited 3 years ago; it should indeed have had a fix by now – but it has not. In an article dated from last year, it states that the problem is not solved and it is now even able to be cloned within 200 feet of proximity of said RFID cloner. Imagine for a minute; a guy building an RFID clone, putting it his pocket and sitting in a coffee shop or restaurant in an airport. Gold mine!

Seeing as Canada issued Santa Claus and company a passport, does this mean that he was illegally traveling the globe before said passports were issues? If so, was NORAD aiding and abetting – or perhaps an NSA program keeping tabs on Old St. Nick. Canadians are certainly happy that even the Canadian government, Harper specifically, can have some fun during Christmas time.

Editorial by Sebastian Barkovic


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