Katy Perry Kissed a Girl and Didn’t Like It

Katy PerryKaty Perry got more than she bargained for as an unsuspecting audience member at a recent Miley Cyrus concert when the Wrecking Ball singer tried to deep throat her onstage.  While Katy claims she intended to give Miley nothing more than friendly and platonic smooch on the face, Miley in usual fashion desired something slightly more scandalous.  When Cyrus went in for a deeper meeting of the mouths, Perry promptly pulled away.  As it turns out, Katy Perry kissed a girl and simply does not like it.

As a recent guest on an Australian morning show entitled “Sunrise,” Katy was inevitably asked about the recent girl-on-girl peck heard round the world.  She explained her publicized pull away from Miley in side-splittingly blunt and now widely publicized words, calling Miley’s tongue “infamous,” and pointing out it had assumably been in too many mouths for Katy’s good girl taste.

Upon hearing of the stinging remarks, Miley wasted no time in posting a snarky rebuttal on Twitter.  She reminded Perry that if she were indeed so apprehensive about a well seasoned mouth it was a good thing she broke up with recent boyfriend, John Mayer – ouch.

It’s no secret that Mayer’s bedpost holds a daunting number of notches.  In fact, him and Perry allegedly dissolved their relationship just last week due to his philandering indiscretions.  The cat fight between Katy and Miley has yet to escalate any further, though, and there’s been no comment released from either Perry or Mayer regarding the twitter assailment.  The press waits with bated breath for the singers next moves.

Will Perry release an apology for her candid commentary on the habits of Miley’s prominent tongue?  Will Cyrus apologize for her low blow directly following what must have been a painful breakup for Katy Perry?  Who knows, and most are secretly yearning for the hilarious drama to continue unfolding in typical exaggerated fashion.  After all, where would Miley Cyrus’ invigorated career be without constant controversy enshrouding it.

Katy Perry, on the other hand, has always preserved a predominantly PG persona in the limelight.  It will be interesting to hear what she has to say next.  She undoubtedly never meant for this publicized bout to become as popular as it inevitably has.  Cyrus, however, is probably relishing in the opportunity to assert her new sexual identity once more.  The former Disney princess has come along way since her far more innocent years and has shared all her ripe coming of age odysseys with the watching world every step of the way, whether anyone really wanted to know or not.  So while it seems Miley Cyrus may like to kiss girls, Katy Perry does not, despite what her debut smash single suggested.

Perhaps if this latest celebrity feud continues making headlines, Perry and Cyrus will merge their pop powerhouse tours and reenact the famed lip lock every night for enamored onlooking fans.  Cyrus at the very least should repay the favor and go see Perry’s tour once it commences in May.  Then Perry can bring Miley up onstage and subject her to whatever spectacle she deems worthy of the world’s eyes.  Isn’t that what it is all about after all, constant notoriety and attention?  That, indubitably, was the whole point of the kiss in the first place.  Whatever happens next, it is abundantly clear Katy Perry does not like to kiss girls after all, and for Miley Cyrus, whatever her burgeoning imagination is capable of is apparently a possibility.

Opinion By Brandon Duringer



One Response to "Katy Perry Kissed a Girl and Didn’t Like It"

  1. Mike   March 7, 2014 at 4:23 pm

    That has to be one of the funniest articles yet…still wiping away tears.


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